Not to beat the ‘Single/Degreed Black Women’ debate to death, but I am really interested in the so-called ‘residual’ effects of all of the relationship dynamics that are dominating our cultural dialogue (insert Steve Harvey book link, recent article from Tracy McMillan, etc. – you get my point). Has anybody looked at this? The scientist in me is intrigued. Our friends at Very Smart Brothas tackled this issue last week in their blog, terming the phenomena ‘collateral damage’. Classic.
I was sent this article from Slate.com about this issue – well, sort of. While the writers at Slate don’t directly link to the collateral damage of dating dilemmas in the Black community, they speak about certain demographics (young, twenty-something and jobless males) whom are benefitting from this climate. The writers made some very interesting points. Basically, when there are more successful/single women than men, everyone is affected – not just the obvious culprits. Yes, everyone – married, single, old/young, etc. I could not agree more. (Side note: I see that I am going to have to share some of my relationship background on here so that you all can understand why I ‘AMEN’ these arguments so passionately – yes, with unabated passion). I digress…
It boils down to good ol’ supply and demand – more women than men leads to men having more options/choices/buffets of women and an increasing sense of relational entitlement (sex without commitment, being catered to, low to no tolerance for drama, no push to develop meaningful connections – you get my drift). This is regardless of relationship status. I can’t prove it today, but I do think this phenomena is even tied to the high divorce rate. Yes, seriously. It just baffles me why a man would want to make a relationship work with the woman that has stayed by his side, carried his children, washing his dirty drawers and supported him. It is much, much easier to jump ship when times get tough. *kanye shrug* (<—that’s me, being sarcastic). No one wants to really work hard anymore – for anything. *sigh*
The article from Slate.com is provided below for your enjoyment. Apparently, being a young stud is where its at – even if you are unemployed and unaccomplished. O_o.
The take home message for us is that Americans are indeed having sex – some groups are benefitting far more than others – and much of their waking lives are spent entangled in relationship negotions. Let’s just be safe doing it.
Courtesy of our friends at Slate.com: Sex is cheap.